THE HONEY CREEPER
by Sycamore Smith

I cooked up some eels in eel broth
And I threw in some honey from the Sycamore Bees
Poured it all into a horse trough
And I mixed in some sap from the Figmoron Tree

I boiled it from morning till noon
A thick cloud of smoke hung in the air
A nearby horse breathed in the fumes
And it turned him to glue, right then and there

As it cooled, I admired my brew
It was milky and murky and nicely charred
I dropped in a ladle, snapped it in two--
My batch of hooch was a little too hard
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Honey Creeper, Honey Creeper
Leaving a mess for the Reaper to clean
Honey Creeper, Honey Creeper
Oozing away from the grim murder scene
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'Twas then that an angel appeared
And told me, "Don't do it, don't think it"
And then it turned into a demon who sneered
And said "No, I'm just kidding--I want you to drink it"

So I chipped with a hammer and chisel
And I chopped it like mad with a pick
But I couldn't even shoot off a chunk with my pistol
So I put my face in the trough and licked

I swallowed it down and it knocked me flat--
I mean I was just half an inch tall
I was laid out like a welcome mat
With my insides and outsides completely dissolved
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Now that my skeleton's collapsed
I can go any place that I please
I can squeeze through the narrowest of gaps
I could slide under a puddle of grease

Now I don't mean to make you feel queasy
And I don't want to cause you to retch
But I find that hunting you humans is easy--
You're all so clumsy, you're simple to catch

Oh, if I find you asleep with your lover
I think that it's just fair to warn you
That I will be joining you under the covers
To wrap you both up, so I can absorb you...