by Sycamore Smith

I wake up every morning
With no way to eat my heart out that doesn't hurt
I'm working like a mad dog
Trying to get off Rosie's poodle skirt
She says, "Mister, you look like an ape & you reek"
Still I wanna kiss her on the nape of her neek
I mean "neck," I'm a wreck,
Every single day of the week...
Oh, I love her on Monkey
And I love her on Toothache
And I love her on Whiz-Bang,
Thirsty and Fried Egg
Oh, I love her on Saddle Bag
And I beg all day on Sponge Cake
Rosie, honey, Rosie every day of the week
When I see Miss Rosie
I slick my eyebrows back and pitch my woo
Rosie always tells me
I oughtta go soak my head in Gitchee Goo
She says, "Get away from me
Before I guillotine your face"
Still, I long to lay my head
Between the pillows on her chaste
I mean "chest," I'm a mess,
But Rosie knows I love her the best...
Once I tried to slide a diamond ring
Onto her dainty little finger
Rosie yanked her hand away--
She said she was afraid of catching ring worm
Still, nothing can compare to the way that I feel
When I stare into her very pretty pair of eels
I mean "eyes," Holy Christ,
I'll love her till the day the Devil dies...