by Sycamore Smith

Mr Bolan has been pulling
Double duty in the study
Louise & Hortense are wearing short-pants
And their knees are rather ruddy
The ceiling is festooned
With a sort of putty
And my feeling is that soon
It will rain down on everybody
The onanist shakes his fist
At me and her and her
Others swear by a loving pair,
But three's what we prefer
Ergo, me and her go sleep with her
Lord MacLeese returned from Greece
With a new appreciation for the Spartan
He sold his bric-a-brac & hired Nick-n-Jack
To wrestle for a spell beneath his tartan
He sent his Lady off to France
To buy a sapphire pendant
'Twas there she met Monique and Nance
And found a sapphic penchant
Two men named Gus & Paul sang in the music hall
And left those audiences awfully less than gleesome
But they had an agent who (though she was 82)
Gave matinees away in trade for evening threesomes
A singer's life is arduous
My fellow minstrels know this
But it was twice as hard for Gus & Paul
To rise in show-biz